Self-Introduction letter
Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone
My name is Nicholas Lim, writing to introduce myself as a Year 1 civil engineering student from your effective communication module. I graduated with a diploma in sustainable urban design and engineering specialising in architecture from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.
I actually have a passion and love for architecture. However, being unable to get into my desired course, I ended up enrolling into the Civil Engineering course at SIT. This change of specialisation appeared to be a blessing in disguise as having gone through the architecture route gave me many insights into the built environment that has provided me with an additional outlook on how things work in this industry.
Even though architecture is all about the way we present and sell our ideas, presenting has always been my weakest link through my architecture years. Whilst I can converse easily with strangers in small groups, speaking in front of large audiences has always been daunting for me. Hopefully, through this module I will be able to better portray and present myself in front of my audience.
Stemming from my time in architecture, I developed a love for travelling. This love for exploring new places and people, and to discover different ways of living and understanding life in a foreign land has started to grow inside me. Then, the passion for photography came about from the desire to treasure and capture these very moments. However, Covid has since put a pause to this dream of mine, for I am just waiting for the day our borders will open up yet again.
Whilst I await that faithful day, I wish to better my public speaking skills, and to step out of my comfort zone through this module. Aiming to become more of a confident and engaging speaker to communicate effectively. I also hope to refine my letter writing skills for I believe it will be of great use to me in my coming years.
Warmest regards
Nicholas Lim
CVE1281 T6
Revised 31/01/21
Thanks for posting your letter, Nicholas. I look forward to reading it and also reading the comments from your peers.
ReplyDeleteDear Nicholas
ReplyDeleteThanks for the self-introduction.
Your letter is very concrete and complete. You managed to convey the points about yourself for me clearly. Your letter is very well mannered as well and the flow of your letter makes it easy for me to read.
Thank you for your honest feedback Amos. I hope you have enjoyed my self introduction as much as i did writing it.
DeleteDear Nicholas,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fairly detailed introductory letter. You cover the parameters of the assignment and illustrate with examples so that it is rather informative.
I'm particularly impressed by your explanation of how your first major focus was architecture and that you moved by necessity to civil engineering. I do wonder about one statement though: "...Architecture is all about the way we present and sell our ideas." While I understand the gist of this, is that completely true? I would guess the first step is having desirable, viable and feasible design ideas. Could you say something about your passion for design?
You do a good job developing each of the following segments of this post. However, in terms of language use, there are many issues to consider.
1. overuse of caps
-- see https://www.hartford.edu/about/offices-divisions/office-marketing-communication/resources/editorial-style-guide.aspx#
2. language issues
-- ...as having gone through the Architecture route, it gave me much insights into the built environment that provides me with an additional outlook on how things work in this industry.
> (verbose/lack of conciseness/word issues)
...as having gone through the architecture route gave me many insights into the built environment that has provided me with an additional outlook on how things work in this industry.
-- To look forward to seeing new places and people, and discover different ways of living and understanding life in a foreign land. > (fragment) ?
-- ...covid has since put a pause to this dream of mine. > (use of caps/conciseness) COVID has since put a pause to this dream.
-- To become more of a confident and engaging speaker to communicate effectively. > (fragment)
I look forward t seeing how you can polish this letter.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and for the invaluable feedback, I will make the necessary amendments and continue to improve on my writings and in future ones.
Best regards,
Nicholas
Dear Nicholas,
ReplyDeleteYour email is quite interesting. It is clear, courteous and concise. I feel that SIT should have been spelled out. Your hobbies are pretty interesting, hopefully you get to travel soon so that you can take more pictures.
Warm Regards,
Kai Yee
Thank you for your feedback Kai Yee. Lets work towards effective communication through this module together!
DeleteDear Nicholas
ReplyDeleteIt was really interesting to read about your love for Architecture and travelling! Your email is concise, clear and courteous. However, I noticed that you did not seems to talk about your strengths of communication. Maybe you would like to add it in and elaborate on it further to make the email more complete. Otherwise, I really enjoy reading your email and I look forward to reading more from you!
Cheers
Lin Yi
Thank you for the honest feedback Lin Yi. I am glad you have enjoyed reading my self introduction, I will take note on the pointers made and make the necessary amendments to further improve my writing.
DeleteThank you!
Hi Nicholas, apologies for the much delayed feedback! I absolutely loved the honesty regarding your strengths and weaknesses. I have always found your drawings and illustrations to be quite impressive, and reading about your passion in architecture only reaffirmed me of your talent.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, I would like to point out an issue with the following sentence: "This change of specialisation appeared to be a blessing in disguise...". It may be of help to split it into two sentences and restructured in order to improve the flow of the paragraph.
This piece of writing was thoroughly enjoyable since you shared so much about your life. I do hope that we can get to know even more about each other throughout our time in university!